Saving Grace
by Kayla James
Summary: Set in the past before the death of Harry's parents and continuing to after the 7th book. Please Read and Review. Chapter 4 now up! Snape/OC
1. Prologue

AN: I started this on a whim when the 6th book was released with every intention of continuing and finishing it before book 7. Obviously that did not happen. So, I've decided to start fresh with it and give it a slightly new twist. The flash backs are the same as those I had initially planned, only the "present day" section is slightly different.

I'm going to say it here so I don't have to keep typing it over and over again (although, if I'm supposed to please send me some sort of email or private message). I own nothing except for Vivienne who is my own original character and any others I might come up with along the way.

Thanks for reading and please let me know how I'm doing in a review or private message.

Prologue

Two months had passed since the Battle for Hogwarts and the death of so many. Harry had found himself agreeing to sort through what was left of the meager belongings of Severus Snape and was staring at the final box in the deceased man's home in Spinner's End.

It was a small wooden box painted black with gold accents and ruby and emerald gems decorating the outside. Harry couldn't help wondering at the mixing of Slytherin colors with those of Gryffindor, hoping the contents might explain the outside. Much like everything else in the house all the protection spells seemed to have disappeared with the death of their former owner.

"What do you suppose he used it for?" Hermione asked, coming to stand beside him.

She had agreed to stay and help him finish his task, and he had been glad for the company. The contents of the home as well as Snape's private chambers at Hogwarts had held nothing that surprised Harry and the work had not been difficult, yet he was glad for the company.

With a slight shrug, Harry opened the box. They had quickly learned Severus Snape had not been one to hold on to many worldly possessions and mementoes of the past. So he was slightly surprised when the first thing he saw was an old photograph.

It was perhaps one of the only photographs Snape had ever posed for, and judging by the man's appearance he would have guessed the picture was over fifteen years old. There was a woman with him in the picture and it showed Snape placing his arm around her and looking at her with a rare slight smile on his lips. She was quite beautiful with long brown hair accented with strands of red and blonde. Harry thought perhaps it captured one of the few moments of true happiness in the man's life.

Turning the picture over, he found an inscription on the back. After spending his sixth year studying Snape's handwriting in his potion book, Harry was sure the woman in the picture must have put their names and the dates on the back.

"Severus and Vivienne Snape, Rome, Italy, August 1982," Hermoine read aloud, looking over Harry's shoulder. "He had a wife."

He saw Hermoine reach out and pick up the next item in the box. It was a black leather book with no letters or inscriptions. It was old and reminded Harry of another journal he had found during his second year at Hogwarts and he couldn't help smirking slightly when she opened it and found the pages were blank except for the first one that held the full name of the woman in the picture, "Vivienne Campbell Snape".

"Do you suppose this one will work like the one you found in the bathroom second year?" Hermonie asked him, reaching for a quill and ink from the table next to them.

"There's only one way to find out," he told her with a slight smile as she quickly scribbled a hello onto the first page.

He suddenly felt a quiver of nervousness at possibly getting a glimpse of another chapter in the life of the man who he had only recently come close to understanding. There was still much he did not know or understand about Snape, although he felt a twinge of excitement at the possibility of getting the chance.

His smile only grew as Vivienne responded to them, answering in kind to his greeting. Yet he was distracted for a moment by a picture that had been hidden below the journal, a picture with many familiar faces.

Vivienne looked about thirteen years old in the picture, and Harry was unable to resist flipping it over to look at the date. He read it aloud as Hermione raised a questioning eyebrow, "Vivienne Campbell, James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, February 1979."

"What should I ask her?" he heard Hermoine whisper slightly next to him.

"Ask her if she'll show us the moments of her life that will tell us who she is," he replied.

She nodded and quickly wrote the message to the diary's owner. A moment later he felt himself being drawn inside the pages of the book before him and was unable to stop himself from reaching for Hermione's hand as they tumbled down into whatever Vivienne decided to show them of her life and what secrets it might reveal.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

April 15, 1981

Vivienne waited in the small, private potions lab just down the hall from the main potions classroom. She had used floo powder to go directly from her private chambers to the lab completely undetected by the remainder of the students.

Upon learning that her parent's death after her father had betrayed The Dark Lord, Headmaster Dumbledore had helped it appear as if she had simply vanished from the halls of the school. She was to attend private lessons once a week to finish her studies, and Monday evenings would be spent in the potions lab with the newly hired assistant professor.

Sitting on one of the stools she only had to wait a moment for the back door of the classroom to open and for the identity of her new professor to be revealed. Vivienne felt her eyes widen a bit in surprise when she laid eyes upon a very familiar face.

"Severus?" she asked softly, rising to meet him. "Is it really you?"

His physical appearance had changed little since his graduation, yet he seemed more haunted then in the years she watched James Potter and Sirius Black torment him in school. She could not help wondering if perhaps the rumors of his alliance with The Dark Lord were true, but surely he would not have been allowed to teach at Hogwarts if he were a Death Eater. She had not seen him in nearly three years, since his graduation and her second year in Hogwarts. Their age difference at the time had seemed so great so she had rarely talked to him, despite the urge to do so whenever she would see him along in the library. Yet now he did not seem so much older.

"Hello, Miss Campbell," he sneered in return and Vivienne felt the smile that was starting to creep across her face slowly fade. "Since I will be serving as your professor for the remainder of the school year I must insist on you referring to me in the proper manner."

"Of course, Professor Snape," she replied coolly. "I apologize for my surprise at seeing you back in these walls."

He moved towards her slowly, leaning on the opposite side of the table were she sat. She felt her breath catch slightly as he came closer to her, but she held her ground, unafraid of her former schoolmate.

"I was never your friend, Miss Campbell," he said softly, "much as you and your friends Potter and Black were not mine."

"I was never the one who was cruel to you," she told him, causing him to raise an eyebrow slight. "If I had been sorted into Slytherin and followed my parents blindly in their ridiculous quest for 'pure blood' that they insisted on believing in until last year you would not be treating me so coldly now."

"You're working on the Drought of Peace, correct?" he asked, ignoring her statement and moving to sit at the table in the front of the room.

"Yes," she said softly.

"Yes, what?" he asked a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Yes, sir," she nearly spat. "I was last studying the Drought of Peace."

She could feel her temper flaring up a bit at his pompous attitude. She knew though it would do her no good to take part in a war of words though with this man.

"Alright, get to work then," he told her sitting back slightly.

Turning away from him she quickly set to work gathering her cauldron and other supplies. Turning sideways so he could watch her work, but she would not have to see him, set to work and somehow managed to forget he was lurking slightly in the shadows at the front of the room.

"You're stirring it to fast Miss Campbell," Severus said after nearly a half hour of watching her brew the potion.

She felt herself shutter a bit at the reminder of his presence, but quickly recovered and began stirring again, this time a little slower as instructed. She could not stop her hand from shaking a bit though as she heard and felt rather then saw him rise from his seat and move to her side to inspect her work. 

There was nothing improper about his nearness, yet she couldn't help the goose bumps that were beginning to form on her arms. She could smell the earthy scent of his soap and also the scent that belonged solely to him.

The correct amount of stirring time passed a moment later and Vivienne once again stopped her motions and looked up at him. Stepping aside she allowed him to examine her work more closely and tried to busy herself with something else in another part of the room.

"Miss Campbell, I believe despite your obvious lack of skill with basic stirring, you've managed to produce a draught that will not poison the recipient," he told her with a slight smirk.

"Thank you, Professor," she said, not meeting his eyes.

It was the closest thing to a complement she was sure she would receive from him that evening and she began to gather her belongings. She felt him watching her, but still did not look up at him. She had been thinking of her parents suddenly and the night they were killed. Yet to ask him if he had been there would mean his admittance taking part in their demise.

"Is there something on your mind, Miss Campbell?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"No, sir," she said softly. "If the lessons over I think I should like to return to my quarters to finish studying."

Placing her bag over her shoulder, she started to move towards the fireplace so that she might go directly to her room and remain unseen by the other students, but he stepped into her path, blocking her exit. She was forced to look up at him then, meeting his questioning gaze.

"You are not the best at keeping secrets, Miss Campbell, nor lying," he said smoothly.

"Is there an assignment for next week, Professor?" she asked, ignoring his statement as he had hers earlier. "I find I'm rather tired and should like to retire to my chambers to study and rest."

"Miss Campbell, do not try my patience," he said coolly.

"Vivienne," she said, meeting his eyes. "You have never called me 'Miss Campbell' until tonight. The name is Vivienne. Now, sir, if there's no assignment, will you excuse me?"

"You will answer me, Miss Campbell," he said, holding his ground. "You thought of something just now, I imagine something pertaining to your parents. Now, what is it?"

"The night The Dark Lord murdered my parents," she began slowly, "were you there?"

"Miss Campbell, while it is regrettable your parents found themselves on the wrong side of The Dark Lord's wand, I don't see why my whereabouts should make a difference," he said.

"I'm not just some nameless first year, Severus," she told him. "I have known you for as long as I can remember, even before Hogwarts. Perhaps we've never been friends, but I deserve an answer! Where you there?"

"Yes, I was there," he replied, and she immediately began to push past him. He took hold of her though, and despite her best attempt to struggle to free herself, he was too strong.

"Let me go," she spat, still trying to break his grasp.

"No, Vivienne" he said softly and she stopped her struggle when he used her first name. "They were already dead when I arrived."

She felt her knees buckle and he slowly sank to the floor with her as she fought to hold onto her emotional control. She had buried her parents less then a week ago, and had virtually disappeared from the wizarding world that same evening.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, thankful for his physical support as she felt she was barely able to hold herself up. "It's still so fresh for me. I suppose I'm one of the most sought after witches in his circle. I've heard there quiet a reward for me."

He said nothing, and she needed no further response to know the truth. Slowly she pulled away from him and forced herself into a standing position, leaning on the desk for support. He stood a moment later, and turned away from her quickly, moving back towards the front of the room.

"Is there any homework for next lesson, sir?" she asked, and she could almost feel the wall return between them.

"Please be familiar with the next potion in your book," he said, his voice steady and cool. "I'll expect you to be prepared to demonstrated the brewing process correctly and please practice more steady stirring."

"Yes, sir," she said softly, gathering her things as he continued to move foreword and slipped out the door.

She lingered for a moment, filling her lungs with a deep breath and trying to clear her thoughts. Severus had confirmed her suspicions that he was a member of the Dark Lord's Death Eaters, yet the fact that Dumbledore had allowed him into the halls of Hogwarts and to teach her meant he must be a spy. She wondered if perhaps he had replaced her parents as Dumbledore's source.

Moving towards the fireplace, she looked back over her shoulder one final time before taking a handful of floo powder and returning 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

April 27, 1981

The second lesson had passed without incident and with very little excitement. Vivienne had made sure to think of him as any other professor, not as someone she had once gone to school with and considered her peer. He in turn had treated as a stranger for much of the lesson, the icy façade only dropping for a brief moment during the first lesson when her own emotions broke through the surface. So, she had been determined to mimic his behavior.

When she arrived she was slightly surprised when he decided not to have her demonstrate the next potion in the book, instead choosing to have her assist him in brewing simple healing potions to help replenish the school's supply. He too was working on his own potion across from her, his hair uncharacteristically tied back as he concentrated on a slightly harder brewing process.

It made him appear less intimidating, less cruel. He almost seemed approachable and it appeared that while working on the potion the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. His face was more relaxed, making her realize the beneath the worry he was very handsome when his features were less tense and rigid. She shook the thought from her mind though; reminding herself that he was her teacher.

"What are you working on, sir?" she asked, as her potion was required to remain undisturbed for fifteen minutes.

"A Blood-Replenishing Potion," he told her, looking up for a moment. "The Headmaster has requested we keep some on the premises."

She watched him work for a moment, stirring slightly for a moment. He muttered something under his breath, causing the wooden handle to continue stirring on its own as he reached for the next ingredients. His movements were deliberate and perfectly time and she couldn't help being slightly jealous of his obviously natural ability.

"You seem to be quiet absorbed in the brewing process," she continued after a moment. "Are the ingredients highly potent?"

He looked up for a moment, raising an eyebrow at her slightly and then said, "The ingredients could cause an explosion powerful enough to throw us both across the room if they are not put in at exactly the precise moment."

She gave him a slight smile in appreciation, and she found while he didn't return it, his face soften a bit in return. Looking away she realized it was time for the next ingredient, and her fingers reached for the small pile of root near her cauldron. He looked up just as she dropped it into the bubbling cauldron and quickly began to move around the table towards her.

"Vivienne, get down," he cried as he moved towards her, pulling her towards the ground.

She lost her balance and she felt them both start to tumble towards the floor. As her head came in contact with the stone floor she heard a loud explosion. She hoped it was the cauldron exploding and not the sound of her skull coming into contact with the floor below her.

Slowly she became aware of things around her again and the first thing she noticed was that Severus was currently on top of her, shielding her from the explosion above. His weight pinned her down, and she once again caught the smell that was distinctly his and she felt herself take a moment to enjoy the almost intoxicating scent.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice soft as he looked down at her.

"I think so," Vivienne told him, "expect for the blinding headache caused by what I'm sure will be a lovely lump in the morning."

"You should be more careful," he told her, keeping her pinned in her place as his usual stern tone returned. "What you grabbed was glasswort root for my potion, not one of your ingredients. Mixed with the ingredients of your draught it is also highly explosive. You could have blown us both to bits had I not looked up in time."

"Thankfully you did," she said, knowing she looked a bit sheepish under his harsh stare. "I suppose watching you work on the Blood-Replenishing Potion distracted me. I've never seen anyone look so at ease in the lab."

His expression softened slightly again and he moved away from her slowly, kneeling next to her and offering her his hand as she sat up. Vivienne felt a wave of pain pass through her as she did so and couldn't help raising a hand to her temple.

"Let me take a look," she heard him saw as he moved behind her to examine the back of her head.

She felt his fingers in her hair, gently searching for the bump and winced slightly when he found the aching spot. After a moment more of prodding he stood, once again offering her his hand, which she gratefully took. The instant she was on her feet she felt a wave of dizziness pass over her and her knees buckled slightly. However, he caught her, setting her on one of the stools as he moved off to a supply cabinet across the way.

"I suspect you have a mild concussion, Miss Campbell," he told her, looking through the cabinet. "I would send you to the hospital wing, but I doubt the Headmaster would approve given your current situation."

He turned back to her then, moving across the room and handing her a small vile of blue liquid. She took it and drank it without question; glad it was slightly sugary instead of the usual bitter potions she received when ill or injured.

"That will help with the headache and will make it safe for you to sleep, despite the concussion," he told her as he handed her a small jar of healing balm. "This will help tomorrow with the bruising and swelling."

He moved away from her then, adding one final ingredient to his own potion before setting it aside. She felt the pain in her head start to recede a bit as he moved to lean slightly against the table across from her. She felt her cheeks burn a bit at the realization of what had almost occurred.

"Thank you for not scolding me too much," she said softly, not meeting his eyes. "I should have been paying more attention to my own work, not yours. I'm sorry I almost blew us both up."

"I would like an essay from you this week on safety in the lab," he told her, and she could feel his eyes boring into her. "Five parchments in length."

"Yes, sir," she said softly, glad the dizziness was also starting to fade.

"This could have ended very badly, Miss Campbell," he said, and she could hear the anger he was trying to keep in check starting to bubble to the surface. "When I work I devote my entire attention to my potion, I expect from here on out you will do the same."

"Yes, sir," she said again, feeling herself deflate a little more at his harsh tone. "I will do my best to focus my mind more in the future."

"You're not just some stupid child, Vivienne," he said, nearly yelling, but she looked up at the use of her first name. "I know you're extremely capable and intelligent and you have the confidence of the Headmaster who believes you to be the best in your year, if not the whole school. That is why I expect more of you then I would any of the other brainless idiots roaming these halls and why I would allow you to brew something that could be consumed by a student. But you must stay on task, you must not allow your mind to be consumed with other meaningless trifles."

"The way you do?" she countered before she could stop herself, rising to meet him.

She stumbled a bit and he caught her arms. As soon as the dizziness past, she broke free from his grip, deciding to fight fire with fire. Perhaps it was the bump on her head, but while she could stand to be berated for her actions, she could not handle his disappointment in her and his doubt she deserved the confidences she had earned. If she was so capable she was going to prove it to him every chance she could manage.

"You who is able to act as if nothing matters?" she continued once she had recovered, unable to stop the words. "You would have me be the ice queen. Unfeeling, cold, cruel…Much as you became over the years. Not all of us can simply turn off our emotions, Severus."

He opened his mouth to respond and she prepared herself for the onslaught of insults, but it never came. Instead he seemed to gasp slightly in surprise as he grabbed his forearm and she took a step towards him in concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked, standing beside him.

"Yes," he breathed, "you should return to your quarters now."

Vivienne knew she should do as he told her, but she was rooted in her spot, unable to pull away from his side. She could remember the Dark Lord called the few times her parents in her presence. They always had a similar expression of worry mixed with a little pain, especially if he was angry. Judging by the look on Severus's usually somewhat emotionless features she was sure the Dark Lord was angry.

"You should go before he becomes more upset," she Vivienne said softly, her voice shaking a bit. "I'll take care of the mess."

He turned to go, moving towards the door and she turned away to face the mess left by the explosion. He was going off to face someone who could claim his life if Severus had been identified as a spy. She knew there was a chance that every time he was summoned, like her parents he might not return and she tried to push those thoughts from her mind.

"Severus," she called as his fingers touched the door, unable to stop herself, and he turned to face her, his eyes searching her face. "Be careful. I…I expect to see you here for our weekly lesson, Professor."

Turning again, he quickly passed through the door without another word and Vivienne found herself alone in the lab. Slowly she began to gather what she would need to clean up the mess she had created as the worry began to set in and this time she was unable to stop the thought that he might not return, much like her mother and father.

Not even she had known that they had turned on the Dark Lord, choosing to become spies for Dumbledore. Their death at the hands of their former master had come as quiet a shock to her and Vivienne felt the tears prickle the sides of her eyes. If she had known her visit over the Winter Holiday might have been different.

Stopping, she sat on one of the stools, head in her hands. She could feel herself trembling a bit from fear and sadness. Then, suddenly the tears began to fall and she was unable to control her emotions any longer. She wept alone for her parents, for her youth, which was taken from her, and for Severus who put himself in danger nearly every moment of every day.

It was hours later when she finally left the lab, and she assumed Severus had not returned. Taking one last look around the lab she said a little prayer for his safety before going to the fireplace so she might return to her quarters.


	4. Chapter 3

May 4, 1981

May 4, 1981

Vivienne sat waiting for her potions lesson to begin, trying not to tap her nails impatiently on the table as she wondered why Severus was late. She was sure the Headmaster would have told her if anything had happened to him at their daily meetings, but still she felt the tension build in her stomach with each passing moment.

After the loss of her parents, she wasn't sure she could take another sudden death of someone in her life. While she certainly didn't allow herself to be close to Severus, with so few directly in her life, she was sure the loss of anyone would be a traumatic blow. She knew she cared about him, despite the inevitable arguments.

After ten minutes she rose and started gathering the supplies for what she assumed would be the assignment of the evening. To take her mind off of her lack on an instructor she busied her hands with the preparation. Mixing and chopping seemed to ease the knot in her stomach, although not completely.

When the door behind her finally opened, she fought the urge to breathe a sigh of relief. Turning to face him she was slightly surprised by his appearance. He was more tired and pale then she had ever seen him, and his brow was creased with pain.

"Don't think I'm not relived to see you, but you look like hell, sir," she said, moving towards him as he stepped further into the room.

"My apologizes for being late," he said, moving past her to examine what she was working on. "I was unexpectedly detained."

Vivienne had to shake herself slightly as she followed him back to the table. He was barely able to walk and yet he acted as if nothing was wrong with him. She knew it was a defense, a way he kept anyone from getting close, but she wasn't sure how to react in order to keep peace between them when he obviously needed her to do so.

"Continue with your work," he said, moving towards the storage closest on the other side of the room.

She worked in silence as he began to unload various ingredients, grimacing every few minutes. Vivienne managed to block out his presence during the majority of the brewing processes, practicing the technique he had demanded she use a week ago. Yet as she capped the vile holding the sample of the brew she would give him for grading she heard him suck in a sharp breath and noticed he had a tight grip on the step stool he had been using.

"Foolish, arrogant, pig headed man," she mumbled so he wouldn't hear as she moved towards him. When she reached his side she told him, "You should be resting, not babysitting me and dealing with tasks that can obviously wait."

"Miss Campbell, I don't recall asking for your opinion on what I can and can not handle," he said through slightly clenched teeth as her fought to straighten his posture again. "Get back to work.

"I'm finished with my work," she countered, meeting his gaze. "Will you at least sit down? I can finish unpacking these."

"I can manage just fine without your help," he said, his voice dripping with contempt, and had it been anyone else she might have been frightened.

"Yes, I can see that," she said with a slight smirk. "Consider this extra credit…Sit down."

"Are you being snarky with me, Miss Campbell?" he asked, his voice still icy.

"I believe I was," she told him in reply. "I do believe you are rubbing off on me."

She was surprised when a matching smirk formed on his lips, instead expecting more arguments. Turning he moved to sit on the small stool near the door to the closest, giving her space to finish the task of putting away the new herbs and roots that had been shipped to the school. Reaching in, she picked up one of the larger containers out of the box.

"_Isanthus brachiatus_," she read aloud, wondering at the Latin name. "I've never been much good with proper names."

"Fluxweed," he told her, leaning back against the wall slightly and watching her as she climbed the step stool to place it on the shelf. "Used primarily for Polyjuice Potion when it is picked on the full moon."

Setting it on the shelf next to the nearly empty container from what she assumed was the last shipment, she climbed back down the step stool. She was aware that he was watching her every move extremely carefully and wondered if he didn't trust her to find the right place for each container or if he was simply enjoying the fact that she was bending and climbing just a few feet away.

"_Sambucus nigra_," she read looking at the next label before finding its place on one of the lower shelves.

"Commonly known as Elderberry," he interjected. "You'll find it in nearly every potion brewed to fight illness and fever."

They continued that way for a while; she would read off a Latin name for an herb and he would tell her the common name she knew as well as the uses. Many she knew, but she found she enjoyed the sound of his silky voice reciting even the most basic knowledge. When she was finished, she sat on the step stool facing so she might continue to talk to him, should he allow it.

"Do you return from every meeting this way?" she asked softly, wondering if her parents had suffered as he did after attending meetings.

"Miss Campbell, I hardly…"

"Please," she said, fighting the emotions that were building at the thought of her parents, "I need you to be Severus right now, the person I've known all my life, not this Professor Snape who acts as if he has never met me. I need to know if they…if they suffered every time they went to one of those blasted meetings."

"Most," he said in answer to his original question. "He's called us several times this week…He's been quiet unhappy that no one has been able to locate you."

"So this is how he returns the devotion of his followers? By turning is wand on them and torturing them?" she asked, the contempt she felt towards the Dark Lord evident in her voice.

He nodded slightly, and she wondered if it was because he felt he deserved the punishment, as probably many of the Death Eaters did, for failing their master. She didn't dare question him on his personal feelings as she knew he would only close off the little part of himself he was now letting her see.

"Thank you," she said after a moment, her voice a whisper.

"I don't believe I did anything worth thanking, Miss Campbell," he said, his voice even and his face seemed devoid of any emotion.

"For answering my question and being honest with me," she told him softly, rising for the stool and watching as he struggled to his feet. "I should head back to my quarters and let you rest somewhere more comfortable."

"Miss Campbell, I am…"

"Fine, I know," she said cutting him off with a slight smirk. "I will see you in a week, sir."

Before he could protest further she walked past him, gathered her belongings, and move towards the fireplace. As the floo powder took affect she could see him watching her through the flames and she was sure the beginnings of smile was playing at his lips.


	5. Chapter 4

May 11, 1981

May 11, 1981

Vivienne made herself comfortable with a book in the overstuffed armchair near the large window in the quarters Headmaster Dumbledore had told her Severus was given upon taking his post. It were just down the hall from her own, which surprised her slightly as she never saw him coming or going from the rooms.

She had followed Dumbledore to the quarters in silence after Severus was called away just moments after their lesson started. Severus had asked her to inform the Headmaster that he had been called, but she was surprised when Dumbledore told her that he suspected the younger man was to be punished that evening for not having found Vivienne's location. As Dumbledore was being called to London on official Ministry business he had asked Vivienne to wait for Severus's return to see that he was safe.

At first she had wandered around looking at the sparse furnishings, then she browsed his bookshelf where she found everything from Potions and Dark Arts texts to classic literature, both Wizard and Muggle. She had chosen a book of Shakespeare's writing, deciding it would be the safest for the evening. Yet she could not get her mind to focus.

It was nearly midnight when the fireplace awoke with a blaze and she stood just as Severus stumbled out from the flames. He stumbled towards her and she managed to break his fall slightly as his knees gave out, however, she fell with him, but managed to keep them both from collapsing completely.

"What are you doing here, Miss Campbell?" he said through clenched teeth and she tried to remind herself that he was in a great deal of pain.

"The Headmaster was called away," she told him. "He asked me to make sure you returned to us in one piece. Do you think you can stand long enough to make it to the couch with my help?"

"I don't need anyone's help," he spat, pushing away from her and trying to stand on his own. However, he tumbled back into her arms before she could manage a retort.

"No, you don't want to need anyone's help," she told him gently. "There's a difference. Shall we try it together?"

He allowed her to support some of her weight as they stood and together they walked to the couch. He grimaced when her hand moved down his side slightly and as he sat and pulled away from her she was horrified to find that he had done so because he was bleeding.

"It's nothing," he said, noticing the way she looked at the blood on her hand.

"I would hardly call it nothing," she retorted. "Do you have any healing balms in the washroom?"

"In the cabinet below the sink," he told her softly and she immediately began to move off in the direction where she had found the room earlier.

"You'll need to remove your shirt," she called over her shoulder as she moved through the doorway.

"That is not appropriate, Miss Campbell," she heard him growl in response and she fought back a laugh. "I will not be disrobing before a student."

"Don't be such a baby, Severus," she said, peeking her head around the doorway. "Would you prefer I call the mediwitch?"

Seeing him sit up slightly and begin to remove his black outer robes, she went back to searching the area under the sink for the appropriate balms and potions. A moment later she heard him enter the bathroom and stood, placing a healing balm on the counter next to the sink along with gauze. His white undershirt was open and she could see the stain on the side growing darker.

"What are you doing?" she asked, facing him. "You should be resting…you'll make that worse. Besides, we don't know how badly you're hurt."

"It's not very deep," he told her, moving to pick up the balm. "I do not need the help of a student, or some silly girl trying to play mediwitch!"

"Take off your shirt," she said, gabbing the balm before he could and ignoring his statement. "The Headmaster asked that I stay here and help you, and that's what I plan to do."

"Miss Campbell…"

"Just take off your shirt!" she exclaimed, feeling slightly exasperated, and was relieved when he finally complied.

Opening one of the bottles of healing balm, she was proud of herself for not blushing at seeing him shirtless. She could see the gash on his side, and tried not to let her eyes wander from the wound to the dark hair starting just below his belly button leading to the line of his pants. Instead, placing some of the balm on a piece of gauze, she gently spread it over the wound to clean it. He hissed slightly and she met his eyes with an apologetic wince of her own. From the countless scrapes and other injuries from her younger days she knew there was no escaping the stinging.

"They did this to you because of me," she said, and it was more a statement then a question.

"No," he said as she worked on cleaning the wound. "I gave my word to Albus and I would never betray him. He asked me to keep your presence here a secret and I will continue to do so. Do not blame yourself for this."

"I suppose I should be honored for your devotion to him," she said, feeling a little hurt.

She had hoped he might keep her presence at Hogwarts a secret purely to protect her, and she scolded herself slightly as she should have known better then to hope. Returning to the task at hand she grabbed a larger piece of gauze to begin wrapping it around his midsection to cover the wound. She had to move closer to him to do so, and she tried not to look up at him.

"There," she said when she was finished. "You should get some rest."

She watched as he turned away from her towards a small cabinet on the wall. All the viles were filled with the same purple liquid and he took one from the supply, drinking the contents.

"What was that?" she asked when he was finished and had set the empty vile on the counter.

"It counteracts the lingering effects of the Cruciatus Curse," he replied, moving away from her and out of the bathroom.

She picked up the discarded undershirt and moved back into the living area. She assumed he had gone into the bedroom to change and since he had not ordered her to leave yet, she began folding his tattered, dirty outer robes. She could not get her mind off of the cabinet of viles all filled with the same potion and she knew it was so well stocked due to the frequent use of the curse against him.

She shook slightly, feeling tears prickle her eyes that anyone should have to endure the torture so often. She couldn't imagine anything so horrible as being subjected to that pain over and over again.

He emerged a moment later wearing fresh clothing and said, "Miss Campbell, you should…"

"How do you do it?" she asked, cutting him off. "How do you hide the pain so well? No potion can completely take away the pain of the Cruciatus, so how do you pretend to feel nothing?"

"I do what I must for survival," he told her. "And one grows numb with time."

"Why?" she asked, feeling a stray tear roll down her cheek. "Why do you continue to put yourself in a position to be tortured? Why should the best solution you could hope for be to grow numb to the pain? Why do you keep going to him?"

"Miss Campbell, I do believe I can manage on my own for the rest of the evening. Please see yourself out," he said coldly, turning his back to her and beginning to move towards the bedroom again.

"Damn it, Severus!" she cried at his back, causing him to turn to face her again. "Stop letting me only see a piece of the picture and then shutting me out again! You may think you do not need friends or help, but you do."

"From a sixth year?" he asked, facing her again. "From someone who has barely grown from a child to an adolescent?"

"From anyone willing to give it!" she replied, moving towards him. "I am not just some adolescent. I have lost and suffered too, and I too could use a friend in this place. And as I've reminded you before, I have known you most of my life. Perhaps you've never really let me past your cold exterior, but you haven't managed to run me off yet either. If you could stop being so pigheaded and self-righteous you might see that!"

"You are nothing but a spoiled child who does not know when she is not welcome," he yelled back. "I would suggest…"

He stopped then and she noticed he suddenly looked pale and his brow was creased with pain. He reached out for the chair that was next to him, and she moved to his side, positioning herself under his arm. They stood there for a moment, and the pain seemed to ease, but he seemed as if all the fight had left his body.

"You need to rest," she told him. "I think the best place for you is in bed. Will you please let me help you?"

He said nothing, but leaned against her slightly and she moved with him towards the bedroom. She was thankful he was able to hold up most of his weight, as she was sure they would both crash to the floor if he were relying purely on her strength. It was a slow trip, but she was relieved to see the bed before them as they passed through the doorway from the living room to the bedroom.

He pulled away as they reached the side of the bed, settling himself without her help. Vivienne took a step back, seating herself on a chair a few feet away. He seemed to have forgotten she was there, and she leaned back a bit, watching him lay there for a moment.

"Go back to your quarters, Miss Campbell," he said, his voice groggy.

"With all due respect, Professor, the Headmaster asked that I see that you were safe and I'm not completely convinced yet," she told him, and was surprised when she received no response.

His breathing had evened out and she realized he had fallen asleep. She watched him for a moment, her own eyes growing heavy as she realized the hour had grown extremely late. Leaning back against the chair she closed her eyes and drifted into a light sleep.


	6. Chapter 5

May 12, 1981

May 12, 1981

Vivienne felt the sunlight creeping across her face as her mind slowly came back into awareness. She was sitting and, judging from the pain in her neck, she had slept that way. Near by she heard a moan and the sound of someone moving against sheets.

Opening her eyes, the previous night flooded her mind once again. She had waited, per the Headmaster's request, for Severus's safe return from his meeting with the Dark Lord. She remembered being determined to see that was indeed safe, but she had not intended to remain the entire night.

Another soft grunt from the bed brought her attention back to her charge. His brow was creased with pain and he was moving ever so slightly in his sleep. She thought she recognized the word "no" among his mumbles and quickly realized he was in the midst of a nightmare.

Rising from the chair, she moved towards him, calling his name. He hadn't seemed to hear her through the dream though, and Vivienne still moved closer. When she reached his side, she called to him a little louder, placing her hand on his shoulder. At the touch his eyes snapped open, and he sat up so quickly Vivienne couldn't even take a step back before his wand was at her throat. She yelped in surprise and was thankful when a look of recognition crossed his features and the wand lowered.

They stared at each other for a moment, both breathing a little heavy. His gaze was intense and she found herself involuntarily moving back to the chair she had previously occupied; yet she was unable to take her eyes from his.

"Gods, Vivienne, I could have killed you!" he said, his voice soft and dripping with guilt. "What were you thinking?"

"I didn't know what else to do," she replied softly. "It sounded like you were having such a horrible nightmare that I…"

"What are you even still doing here?" his voice suddenly cold as he cut her off and rose from the bed. "I told you to go back to your quarters."

"I…I wanted to make sure you were truly alright before leaving you," she said, looking at her hands folded in her lap. "I intended to return to my quarters, but I fell asleep."

She felt him move to stand before her and his hand came to rest under her chin. He lifted slightly and she stood, her eyes eventually meeting his. Vivienne felt confused by what she saw in his dark orbs. He was certainly angry, but she could see something else in his gaze, something that caused a twinge in the pit of her stomach.

"This is no place for you," his voice dangerously soft.

"I think I should be the judge of that," she replied before she could stop herself.

He moved away from her then, running a hand over his face. Vivienne braced herself for the inevitable. They had been pushing the limit of what the other could take for weeks. She was sure she had finally managed to cross the invisible line and cause his patience to snap.

"You truly don't understand how dangerous it is to be around me for a moment more then necessary, do you?" he asked, turning to look at her from across the room. "Vivienne, I've managed to hide you from him, to keep him from seeing that I do indeed know where you've been hidden. But the more time you spend near me, the more difficult that becomes."

Unable to meet his eyes, Vivienne moved towards a nearby window, watching the outside world for a moment. Suddenly her reality felt smaller as the truth of her existence filled her mind.

"I know you are not a stupid child, Vivienne," she heard him say. "There are horrors in this world though that you can't even begin to imagine. So, please go."

"Please, Severus," she said softly, still not facing him, "don't push me away. I have no one here."

Finally turning to look at him, she felt herself involuntarily crossing the distance between them. He stood perfectly still, and she thought perhaps he looked like a frightened animal ready to bolt at any moment.

"I don't expect you to be my friend," she told him. "Just don't push me away."

"You need to leave," he whispered after taking a moment to release the breath he had been holding.

"Severus…"

"Go back to your quarters, Miss Campbell," he said with more force and anger, and Vivienne felt herself step back. "Perhaps I was wrong. You must be a spoiled, ignorant child! I am not your friend, and the more you stay near me the more danger you will be in! Now, leave!"

"Someday you are going to wake up and regret the fact that you have pushed every person in your life away," she spat. "Not only me, but Lilly too. Don't think I'm no naive not to know the way you felt towards her."

"I have made my choices carefully, Miss Campbell, and I suggest you do the same," he replied, now yelling. "I have had quiet enough of your company for one day."

Moving towards her, he took hold of her arm. His grip was firm, and Vivienne could only allow herself to be guided through his quarters to the doorway. Opening the door he moved her through.

"I will see you on Monday for your regular potions lesson. Outside of that time I would recommend staying out of my laboratory and forgetting which door is mine. I have no need for a meddling, know-it-all, Gryffindor child," he told her before slamming the door shut.

As she moved away from the door, tears welling up in her eyes, Vivienne was suddenly grateful that the other staff members would be busy teaching their classes. No one would have been able to hear the outburst or would see her leaving a professor's private chamber.

Reaching her own chambers, she moved quickly through the entrance, locking the door behind her. Leaning back again the door, she felt her knees buckle and she slid to the floor as the tears fell freely down her cheeks.


End file.
